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Sep 28, 2021Liked by Phoebe Maltz Bovy

So much room to project what-about-me-ism into this discussion, which of course is what your post is largely about. As an aging gay man myself, I see your neighbor’s apparent contented freedom as very possibly (probably?) the result of adjusting to loneliness to the point that it’s just a low-grade constant in his life rather than crippling. (I realize your post was very much not discounting that possibility.)

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Exactly exactly. Subjectivity! For all I know, he sees me and thinks I'm the one living the dream. There are past versions of myself that would have thought this, maybe future ones also will. (Also, side note, maybe 80% of why he seems so free is that he does not have a wild 10-year-old poodle, which is not really a comment on gender, age, etc, but rather identity-neutral life choices.)

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