I feel like people mean a couple different things by "not liking kids" and one is just "all things being equal, I prefer the company of other adults and I like having spaces that are adults-only." But there is probably a pithy way to express that without sounding like you post on r/childfree!
I feel like people mean a couple different things by "not liking kids" and one is just "all things being equal, I prefer the company of other adults and I like having spaces that are adults-only." But there is probably a pithy way to express that without sounding like you post on r/childfree!
I think that's just how most people feel, including (maybe especially!) most with little kids of their own, and seems different from disliking kids, more like, not being someone with the temperament to teach daycare. But (maybe?) it's expected of men and seen as an aberration or unnatural in women.
I do think that's what is meant though, and the reason people might say it in the context of having to justify to others who demand a reason for their not having kids is to get across the idea that you do not enjoy being around them and therefore it would be a terrible idea for you to have one living in your house every day for two decades. The point is actually to get across that it would be bad for the kid bc you wouldn't want them there. That may strike you as odd but it's because so many people refuse to believe anyone truly doesn't want kids so it's something they say in exasperation almost...like hey I don't like kids, which would mean it would really suck for a kid to have to grow up living in a house with me if I don't want them there, right?
I know lots of people who "don't like kids" in that they prefer to not be around them and will seek out circumstances without kids and avoid ones with them. Yet those same people are very, very nice to kids when they ARE around them. Weirdly, they are often some of kids' favorite people, perhaps bc they treat them kind of differently and more like an adult or something, I'm not sure. I think they treat them as just slightly less precious and that ends up somehow coming off as the fun, cool adult. At least I always thought my one aunt/uncle couple who didn't have kids were the coolest, when I was a kid...they were the funny ones and acted different from the other adults.
"I know lots of people who "don't like kids" in that they prefer to not be around them and will seek out circumstances without kids and avoid ones with them. Yet those same people are very, very nice to kids when they ARE around them."
Came here to say something similar. This describes me, for sure. I don't like being around little kids for various reasons, most of which *are* inherent to being a little kid, unfortunately, like how randomly loud they can be, how sticky everything mysteriously is in their presence, how they need constant care I don't know how or want to provide should the need arise, how I should censor my language around the ones who can understand me, etc.
But yeah, the important thing about me having those general feelings (and I don't think I consciously choose to have them) is that I don't treat small children like they annoy me when I'm around them. I don't go out and announce that "I don't like kids!" I guess I think it actually *is* okay to "not like kids." It's just NOT okay to go around announcing it, like the kind of person who makes sure to tell everyone that they aren't attracted to Arab men or trans women or something. It's just a really unnecessary thing to do that hurts people's feelings and makes them angry for no reason. You just have to live with and tolerate the existence of all kinds of people, by virtue of being one, yourself.
Related story: a couple years ago, my husband and I, who love camping, had the worst luck every single time we went to our favorite state park that summer, and ended up, every damn time, literally surrounded by young Boy Scouts who got up at the asscrack of dawn and made all sorts of annoying boy-child noises way tf too early for what I was interested in during that experience. But I kept reminding myself how happy I was to have so many memories of camping with my mom and grandparents as a kid, and I keep my annoyance to myself (or to my husband in the tent, quietly) because I know that not only is it going to be a great thing for these kids, and maybe I was the annoying kid at some campground more than once to adults who just wanted to chill in nature for a bit, but also kids just do need to be able to learn how to be humans in society and they should definitely probably get outside more.
I was probably a lot more annoying about the "announcing" part when I was younger, though, lol. Oops.
I feel like people mean a couple different things by "not liking kids" and one is just "all things being equal, I prefer the company of other adults and I like having spaces that are adults-only." But there is probably a pithy way to express that without sounding like you post on r/childfree!
I think that's just how most people feel, including (maybe especially!) most with little kids of their own, and seems different from disliking kids, more like, not being someone with the temperament to teach daycare. But (maybe?) it's expected of men and seen as an aberration or unnatural in women.
I do think that's what is meant though, and the reason people might say it in the context of having to justify to others who demand a reason for their not having kids is to get across the idea that you do not enjoy being around them and therefore it would be a terrible idea for you to have one living in your house every day for two decades. The point is actually to get across that it would be bad for the kid bc you wouldn't want them there. That may strike you as odd but it's because so many people refuse to believe anyone truly doesn't want kids so it's something they say in exasperation almost...like hey I don't like kids, which would mean it would really suck for a kid to have to grow up living in a house with me if I don't want them there, right?
I know lots of people who "don't like kids" in that they prefer to not be around them and will seek out circumstances without kids and avoid ones with them. Yet those same people are very, very nice to kids when they ARE around them. Weirdly, they are often some of kids' favorite people, perhaps bc they treat them kind of differently and more like an adult or something, I'm not sure. I think they treat them as just slightly less precious and that ends up somehow coming off as the fun, cool adult. At least I always thought my one aunt/uncle couple who didn't have kids were the coolest, when I was a kid...they were the funny ones and acted different from the other adults.
"I know lots of people who "don't like kids" in that they prefer to not be around them and will seek out circumstances without kids and avoid ones with them. Yet those same people are very, very nice to kids when they ARE around them."
Came here to say something similar. This describes me, for sure. I don't like being around little kids for various reasons, most of which *are* inherent to being a little kid, unfortunately, like how randomly loud they can be, how sticky everything mysteriously is in their presence, how they need constant care I don't know how or want to provide should the need arise, how I should censor my language around the ones who can understand me, etc.
But yeah, the important thing about me having those general feelings (and I don't think I consciously choose to have them) is that I don't treat small children like they annoy me when I'm around them. I don't go out and announce that "I don't like kids!" I guess I think it actually *is* okay to "not like kids." It's just NOT okay to go around announcing it, like the kind of person who makes sure to tell everyone that they aren't attracted to Arab men or trans women or something. It's just a really unnecessary thing to do that hurts people's feelings and makes them angry for no reason. You just have to live with and tolerate the existence of all kinds of people, by virtue of being one, yourself.
Related story: a couple years ago, my husband and I, who love camping, had the worst luck every single time we went to our favorite state park that summer, and ended up, every damn time, literally surrounded by young Boy Scouts who got up at the asscrack of dawn and made all sorts of annoying boy-child noises way tf too early for what I was interested in during that experience. But I kept reminding myself how happy I was to have so many memories of camping with my mom and grandparents as a kid, and I keep my annoyance to myself (or to my husband in the tent, quietly) because I know that not only is it going to be a great thing for these kids, and maybe I was the annoying kid at some campground more than once to adults who just wanted to chill in nature for a bit, but also kids just do need to be able to learn how to be humans in society and they should definitely probably get outside more.
I was probably a lot more annoying about the "announcing" part when I was younger, though, lol. Oops.