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Aryeh Cohen-Wade's avatar

We must remember though that Sally is only pretty enough to be a part-time model—she'd probably still have to keep her normal job.

Mario Rustan's avatar

A Canadian Jewish angle here (more of a Canadian playing a Jewish American): Rachel Blanchard plays Cher Horowitz in the TV version of Clueless, and the whole series is available on YouTube.

Next thing you know, you'll meet her somewhere in Toronto. Maybe she's reading The Last Straight Woman.

Zanzibar Buck-buck McFate's avatar

Your general point: 100%. I was born too early to be an incel but there were proto-incel memes in my head, because I wasn't in the running for the girls I aspired to, who weren't necessarily in the top 1% but were a rung up the ladder from me in terms of status. But some lovely girls were interested in me, including my sweetheart who I kind of let slip away because the grass was greener. Dunno what the answer is. Aella is very weird (her words) but her series on status was something of an eye-opener for me.

Is Nancy really in the top 1%? Very attractive, don't get me wrong. It never felt absurd that she was with Jez. I think because she is a foreigner and has alternative aspirations that levels the playing field, Jez is exotic because he's British. I think he knows he's punching above his weight and that influences his agreeableness with her crazier stuff.

HD's avatar

British Man / North American Woman Way Out Of His League is a trope in its own right.

David Roberts's avatar

I loved Flight when it first came out and this was one of my favorite songs. Thanks for reminding me!

Shir Knobler's avatar

Well, judging by your appearances on this platform, and as another 42-year-old ashkenazi woman who doesn’t look very different from you, I mean it in a slightly narcissistic way when I say: I think you look great! Maybe not *the* most beautiful girl to ever hold a kebab, but you’ll surely complement any kebab establishment.

And yes, exactly: while it is a big deal to be rather good-looking, especially while dating, this is totally different from the proverbial incel *FEMALE = IRRESISTIBLE* definition of good-looking. This wild idea of “all women” as infinitely attractive hot babes.

I’m not big on math, but I suppose there’s an infinite difference (probably?) between these two dichotomies:

Being attractive / being unattractive

Being any finite level of attractiveness / being infinitely attractive

When I was young, I once complained to my mom that I was devastated not to have grown into “a great beauty”, one of the yowza-inspiring people. Are you serious? She asked. Why would you want that? Now that I’ve aged, I’m no longer sure. In a way, it’s been nice to live out the full human experience of not being everyone’s type.

Zanzibar Buck-buck McFate's avatar

A further thought. Women will date/marry frankly ugly men because they are high status in some way, especially intelligence. Men aren’t exactly the same, but there’s more of that than people think. You mention Kristen Schaal. I think dating Kristen Schaal would be a riot. She is hilarious.