Need a man
On the neediness-lust spectrum
What do the following sentence-speaker pairings evoke?
“I need a man” - a woman
“I need a woman” - a man
“I need a man” - a man
“I need a woman” - a woman
The fourth we can quickly dismiss as not coming across as particularly romantic. If anything it sounds like something an old-timey rich lady would say in reference to wanting to hire a new maid.
Item 3, well, this one has its very own “Benidorm” reference. The one where Mel is trying to find a local businessman (I will not spoil it because this is SUCH a good plotline) for a real estate transaction…
…and Mateo gets the wrong end of a proverbial stick.
Did I just digress a bit there? I would never.
But it’s the first two we’re focusing on here. The woman who “needs a man,” the man who “needs a woman.” The woman-needing man, much like the man-needing man, wants sex. No, needs sex. The woman who needs a man? Let’s talk about her for a moment.
If anything, the more familiar expression is “I don’t need a man.” Needing a man is something a woman will insist she does not do. Or it’s something she will be advised, in a spirit of female empowerment, to refrain from man-needing. To need a man implies to need a man for social standing and/or financial support. It suggests a lack of independence. It does not particularly suggest horniness.
Which brings us back—where else?—to reruns.
I’ve watched the 2004 season of “Murder in Suburbia” (minus one ending I slept through and will return to shortly) and the first ep of 2005’s season 2 (of 2). It’s “Midsomer Murders” if Barnaby and his young, handsome DI were swapped out for two young, pretty women, a blonde (Scribbs) and a brunette (Ash). Brunette Ash is played by Caroline Catz, who looks like Selma Blair, who has great 1960s-but-not-costumey bangs and eyeliner, who is Jewish, who took “Catz” as an intentionally Jewish stage name because her own Jewish-sounding last name was already taken by some other actress, and whom, as you might have gathered, I have googled. There is also the blonde one, Scribbs, who is just as good an actress, but whose hair I’m less interested in so I have not. One of the episodes was written by Michael Aitkens, creator of “Waiting For God,” and occasional “Midsomer Murders” writer as well. The show has appearances by among others Hugo from “The Vicar of Dibley,” Chief Inspector Japp from “Poirot” and none other than DI Troy of “Midsomer” fame. (Incredible to see him in something else!)
Trivia interlude complete, here’s the part where I explain why I’m telling you about this show.
The two detectives are always talking about men. Always. It’s like a tic. Every man they meet is sized up for attractiveness and suitability. They detect. They date. They complain about being single. Scribbs and Ash basically switch back and forth between solving crimes and being Bridget Jones. It’s as if they’re flaunting indifference to the Bechdel Test.
And… I can’t decide how to feel about this. On the one hand, it’s great. It’s funny. They discuss how they know they’re supposed to feel about strippers (as women, not as police officers) versus how they actually do. (Sex positivity vs insecurity, something like that.) They quasi-ogle a character playing a late-teens boy (but I suspect played by a somewhat older actor) in a locker room. And if we’re going to principle-of-the-thing this: the show makes the point that solving murders and being man-crazy are in no way mutually exclusive.
On the other hand? There’s something about the need a man register that I find a bit cringe. Where it’s—sometimes—less that they lust after men, and more that they see it as their obligation, as single young-but-not-that-young women, to de-single themselves. Which is a thing you sometimes see among actual, non-murder-mystery women as well, where they’ll be clearly happily single, but put on this performance of husband-seeking, for the benefit of those who can’t imagine a woman wouldn’t husband-seek. You know where you see this the most though? “The Mary Tyler Moore Show.” Mary and Rhoda are happy as they are but need to make aw shucks we’re still single remarks every so often, because reasons. Ash is the Mary and Scribbs the Rhoda, which just goes to show, Jewishness isn’t always the only factor in play.
I find that dynamic on "Murder in Suburbia" very bizarre. They don't interact like a DI and DS; they interact like eighth graders. It's entertaining, and I've been watching it, but you wouldn't see DCI Barnaby and DS Troy acting like they need dates for the prom every week.