When it comes to older-man-younger-woman pairings (this is what’s meant; the other permutations—same-sex, younger-man—nobody cares, there is no gender-roles angst), there are three takes floating around:
These relationships are inherently abusive, even if the younger woman is 85, because let it be known, 95-year-old men hold the upper hand. Shakily, perhaps, but they hold it all the same.
These relationships are absolutely fine, anything goes where consenting adults are concerned, and if you’re 18, a high school senior, and your same-age friend announces that her new boyfriend is a 40-year-old but it’s OK, he’s a teacher at a different high school, you have to be like, as long as you’re happy, or else you are a puritanical scold.
These relationships are what nature intended. Per evolutionary psychology, women desire older men. Men and women want different things from relationships, which is why men want an 18-year-old (is how it’s phrased in polite society), whereas women want a man who can take care of them and their future offspring. Citations include whoever Mick Jagger happens to be involved with.
The correct take—not any of these—below:
Keep reading with a 7-day free trial
Subscribe to Close-reading the reruns with Phoebe Maltz Bovy to keep reading this post and get 7 days of free access to the full post archives.