Dog pants

When did that become a thing?

The dog-pants.

What’s notable about our times? You might think of Covid, Gaza, or Trump, but you’d be wrong. That’s all what’s substantively happening. I’m not going to be the one breaking any of that to you. I am however at the forefront of another topic:

Dogs in pants. Trousers, for my British readers. This is a key distinction because these are pants-less pants, if you get my meaning. This went from not a thing to a thing, and it is a new development.

Back in my own dog-having days (RIP irreplaceable Bisou) we did all sorts of gear. The anchor garment, however, was a Lands End green quilted jacket, the classiness of which no human clothing has ever matched. In snow and salt, we did the little booties. The clunkier fabric-using ones seemed durable but fell off, so it was paw-condoms all the way, the little balloons that yes rip eventually, leaving torn Pawz around the neighborhoods where lapdogs roam.

This was still an era when putting your dog in any clothing was a bit embarrassing. Where you stood accused of using your dog as a baby-replacement if you put it in anything so much as a colorful harness. But we went with cues from Bisou herself, who hobbled uncomfortably without the booties, who shivered without a coat or sweater and coat if temperatures demanded. I was self-aware enough to realize that I was the lady walking a poodle in clothes. As in, the poodle was in clothes. I was, of course, stark naked.